it has been a long time since I have been comforted with God's word the feeling was so strong till I broke into tears repeating the scene again. huihui jie prayed for me, and she told me she saw a picture. she saw Jesus holding my hand to walk a rocky road. indeed, it has been rocky for me the past few months, or years without or with me wanting it, I have to face it and make some choices it seems easy for many ppl that I should have made or have made the choices oh well, I should not elaborate much then. mmmmmm then she continued saying that after I walked for awhile, it hurts walking on rocky pathway. so I told Jesus, Jesus, it hurts. and indeed it hurts. some decisions that I have to make in life. some decisions that I have made. it hurts. it hurts so much that I don't wish or want to tell ppl anymore. cause nobody understands and I should stop asking ppl to feel what I feel and Jesus carried me,and walked through the rocky paths. this was comforting. God didn't give me shoes or lead me to another path. instead He carried me on His back through the rocky path. :") how comforting this is. even when all else who has promised and failed hurt me, He didn't left my side. He didn't left me even when I left Him and went my own way. He was there waiting to carry me. I have always hoped to be cared, loved or accepted. probably cause of my childhood. I don't blame ny childhood or what, but it caused me to be so. if you have your good childhood, good for you :) but what if you were not? you will spend time seeking for love and to be secure. I am saying this cause I know how it's feel and it's all true. mmmmm. oh well :) and in the end, Jesus carried me into a garden where there are many many beautiful flowers. it was really a timely msg. it was a reassurance that God has been by my side. even when I had my share of failing Him and mistakes, He never left me like how others do. if time were to go back, I rather none of this would have happened and I would not have done what I have done. I would have backed off and just stay the same. perhaps o wouldn't be like how I am now. :") I was watching a show just now and the actress said this. "Do you think only the person who is hurt feel hurt? What about the person who inflicted the hurt? She can't even cry out when she is in pain. She lost the right to even feel feel concern or care anymore" that really struck me hard :)