When did i changed?
When did i changed till i dont even know myself?
was it really love that i changed?

What happened?
Since when did all the jealousy, insecurity, unreasonable came in?
i just want to be happy and loved

what happened Shuiting?
WHAT HAPPENED?

why did you allow yourself to be hurt over and over again?
why did you always choose to hurt yourself?
why?

Why am i forcing someone who dont love me to treasure and cherish me when its not gonna be possible and keep pushing everyone else away?

maybe thats how i want to protect myself

who knows i dont want to be like that?
who knows?
being unreasonable, jealous, insecure.
that doesnt feels good.
i have to battle with myself in mind and to keep my cool
mmmmm

maybe nobody just understand
maybe i should just keep quiet
maybe someday i will just close down this blog

but, :"(
maybe there will be one day when i will run out of tears.
or maybe i should stop loving. at least there wont be anymore problems