i belong to the Adult anxious attachment.
But how i long to be in the Adult secure attachment.
how people long for me to be there too.
i am trying, still trying so hard but the journey is long and hard. you might not know it. but i know. cause its me trying to fight all the negative emotions all running in me.

-Anxiously attached adult tend to fall in love easily and frequently, though they have difficulty finding real love.
-They feel that their desires for closeness are not reciprocated, and often they are to be known as untrusting, jealous and clingy.
-Anxiously attached adult tend to be overly dependent on their partners, often to the point of obsession, and fear abandonment in their romantic relationships.
-Anxious attachment people are associated with less positive emotions and more negative emotions in romantic relationship.

different people are different. so never compare two person. this statement is true. applies to me and to others. so before you open your mouth and judge others. remember, that this is not a relationship that you can judge others. cause you are not in the person's shoes. not even a SINGLE BIT.



sometimes i just wish i could head to a place where no one knows and just live there. Alone.

or to the beach?

to the reservoir quite far away where you could see forest and could touch the water with your hands?


to ice cream shops?

to just spend the whole day playing game, competing?

to get lost in a car with someone you wouldnt mind spending the whole day with?

to be with someone knowing that the person understands you far more than others?
(this would be enough and good enough for me, but:) )

to..

mmmmmmm
i dont know where.

humans are complicated.
seriously complicated.

humans are selfish?
i have been scolded for selfish-ness.
many many times.
and you would never wanna try to be in my shoes.


how to stay out of troubles?

just do what others want and expect you to be and do.

:)

isnt that what other people want?

well, then i shall be
cause i dont want to hurt myself nor others. because of my SELFISHNESS. even when i am in deep shit and just wanna let out a big cry, i will just act as if everything is alright and continue with life. :)





cause i think. no one truely understood me.