Today was a not that easy day for me.
SOmehow decided to make some decision which will hurt alot. Temporary. I believe.
It hurts too for me. (:
But now, i know what's the right thing to do. After so many trials and error. Thank You Lord for guiding my way.

Loving God= Taking away all that distracts you from Him.

I know i am not ready for anything. Now. For sure. Like what ah yi say, i don't want to hurt myself and others.

Lord, i am weak now. I admit that i am weak and i have no one to rely on.
I know i am left only with You after i did all those. It seems so fast, everything. Till i got abit headache. Don't ask me for answers to those questions you have for me. I don't have them now but i only know what is right doing.

Today went out with my sis. ONLY. And it was a nice time out with her. Everyone i can don't want. But not my sis. She's my family. so yes, after that we went home. There was a strong stench at my hse downstairs when we reached home. And we started pondering what causes that. And i somehow checked and try to link where it came from. An apartment. Which inside there stays an old man. Lonely old man; whom i often saw. He was that friendly and well dressed old man. probably at 80's even. We started thinking alot of things. The stench was real strong. As i am typing this now, i can still smell it. So we decided to call the police. After awhile waiting downstairs, police didnt came. So we went back home to wait. And my father say that, the police came this morning. Then he started saying those.... errr. weird stuff. then we ask him. What happened to the uncle downstairs? He said. He passed away. ahhhhhhhh. it was like. me and my sis was still praying hard that nothing bad would happen. my dad say it was three days seem he saw the uncle. Me and my sis even went looking at his apartment and see whether we can get anything anot, but somehow there were just this eerie feeling. so we somehow stopped doing what we were. I even tried knocking on the door asking if the uncle was at home. And, turn out. My heart somehow aches. The uncle was always alone. But he was friendly. He always smiled when he saw us. My sister even shared that he was quite a talented person. He knew violin to my sister knowledge. Wow. i was amazed. but now, we lost another soul. ):

Now i understand what it means when they say:
We are competing against time, for lost souls.

Indeed.
Then what are we still doing?

What am i doing?




It really hurts. But after all these, there will be a beautiful rainbow.

Thank You Lord for not giving up on me. Let me learn how to grow. And him. (:





And please, let me remind you,

If you want to judge others, please remind yourself if you like to be judged by others. If you don't like. PLEASE. keep your mouth SHUT. If you don't. Be responsible to God. I don't care if you judge me anot. Cause i believe He listens to what everyone thinks and say. It's all in Him.