i think i am really too busy with things
that i dont have time left for my studies.
As a student now,
i guess my priority is to study.
But i guess i have forget that along the way.
Busy serving, serving and serving.
Till i am abit numb.

i don't wanna lose the purpose why i am even serving.
why?
why am i hanging on till so hard?
cause my focus isnt right?
i guessed so.

i am really busy serving till.
i know i shldn't say all these here.
but i guess, everyone will have their period of this time.

i really want to know so much things for You.
but it seems that my capacity isn't that big yet.
i don't want to be busy in serving and then?
after all the things that i do, i am back to myself again.

i feel that i am serving till i scare ppl more than what God will say of me
like?
giving up studies to go for practices?
i don't know.
maybe its really time to reconsider.
putting down all these is hard,
maybe even to the extent of losing myself in church

i am still praying
i don't know where i am heading
i love the ministry that i am serving
but it seem that i am just too small

perhaps i should consider stepping down and focus on one instead
since everything is gonna change next year.

i guess i need to pray before i make any foolish decision.
i guess its time for me to meet my mentor soon

i am kind of losing my directions.

i wanna be what You want me to be

Happily dancing in a green patch of field,
as i dance, butterflies follows.
and,
when i am tired,
i will know that there is forever a tree
that i could rest under.

i don't wanna be strong for a while
and fall back to where i use to be

"Seek and you will find,
i try to tell myself,
try to tell myself.
I close my eyes and whisper,
seek and you will find."