this past few days i have been very tired
slping at 2, waking up at 6
don't know how long my body can last if this carry on
i have always been an early sleeper
but
i really have no ideas

today went to church
or shld i say
past two days
today had the usual service
but
God intended a surprise for me i guess
He always surprises me
what i don't want to happen always happens
and what i want to happen doesn't even happens
hmmm):

i have to be strong i guess
very strong to be exact
in worship today
i gave God really what i have in that
and somehow i feel that He is telling me

All i need is your heart.
Will you give that to Me?

i am willing
i have nothing much to hold on to in this life too
hmmm
i am willing

ytd we had call and we watched Facing The Giants
it was my second time watching this movie
i was pasting the paper on the tins and wrapping the tins at the same time
i didnt really watch
but
one part really touched me

it is about a guy who is the main lead
was the coach of a schoolteam of America football
he cant produce results
and many many things happen
and
the couple in the movie cant produce babies
because of the main lead which is the guy
the problem lies in him
and one day in the garden near their house
the guy asked his wife
he said:"If the Lord doesn't give us children, will you still love Him?"
the wife remained silent but cried in the arms of her husband
As weeks passed, the guy found back the strength to carry on in his work as a coach of a American football team
he focus back on God
in this period of time
the wife felt like vomiting and lots
her friend encouraged her to go
but she was afraid
cause that would be her 4th time going down to the hospital
she was scare of getting a negative results
after all, its abt face problem
she still went for it
but in the movie
she was told by the nurses that it was a false alarm again
she went out to the carpark for the car
before entering the car and heading for home
she said
"I will still love You Lord."
and she cried
thats what impacted me
and at that moment the nurses in the hospital found out there was a mistake along the way
and she was actually pregnant!

God was really amazing

and also another part when the pastor talked to the coach
the coach confessed that he has alot of doubts in his work and others
but he said he have faith in God i guess
and the pastor told him

Two farmers have their fields.
Both trusted that God would grant them rain.
But only one went out to prepare.
so which one do you think trusted God more?

that somehow acts like an reminder to me
lots and lots of things happen
for their reasons
i believe God has an ultimate good plan for us
Help me be strong then Lord

i wanna start cherishing my friendship with everyone though i dunno where to start from where
i feel like not caring anything though
hmmm
i guess i have to learn

teach me God