i really need some encouragement i guess

this few days, i dunno why
i have been so bothered
no idea what thing i am bothered over
but i just feel so
so..
messed up inside?

i wanted to help someone
but i doubt that person needs my help
somehow, we are like getting further after sharing our things
sometime i wondered am i too much like a busybody?

i wanted to move on
but my past kept coming back

i want to study well
but
along the way, i didnt know where my motivation when

relationship?
everyone is SO CONCERN about that
hmmm
as usual
i am in a mess
created a big mess out of everything

i wanted to tell this person

I dont blame you for what you did.
seriously.
though i was angry when i just find out abt it
but, how can i blame u when i am the main culprit?
please dont leave church
cause i believe thats the stupidiest choice out of all

i am confused
i feel so weak also

i know i shld go for PM and all those
but i just dun feel like getting active in chuch anymore
i just feel like
if i can avoid going church
i will

i know ppl are concern abt me
asking me out and stuff
i dunno how to tell them how i feel
cause i dun even know it myself

hmmmm):
argggggg

what else can i do?