Today had my O'Level Chinese examination.
hmm
it's not that gd
but now i know i can only rely on God cause i can't do anything else other than that
ohh
that time i went for the hillsong concert! it was good!
though at first i didn't feel like going at first
then zhijin ge told me:"normally, the events that you don't feel like going, will go out quite well."
somehow, i didn't believe that
cause i felt that if i go, i will confirm feel left out
ever since zt not in church le
i like become low profile le
maybe that's good too
i don't know
just kinda got overwhelmed by my feelings
and recently also get to know that someone is interested in my past
although i don't know why i made that choice, maybe i am wrong
but do you guys have to talk behind my back?
put yourself in my shoes man
somemore, it's ppl in the church who made those kind of comments
and what more surprised me is that i didn't expected that person will say that
i am really quite hurt by that
i am here trying to get over the prob and you there rubbing in to my wounds.
forget it
its ppl mouth too, i can't really control it too
since i asked jinhao to buy the ticket, i felt that even though how much i didn't want to go
i still have to go
that's responsibility in some way
went to the max pavilion
at first sitted at the back
then cause jinhao was infront
da ge and me moved infront too
i thank God that i moved infront
maybe cause infront i can worship Him better
then it started off
and i said a prayer
"God, let them sing the song 'from the inside out', let me know that You hear my prayers.."
the song kinda impact me a few days ago when i see the lyrics on Youtube
it was meaningful.. to me
to a wounded me
the lyrics goes like this:

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out"

guess what? they sang that song at the concert
i was stunned when i saw the lyrics flash out
i thought
they have so many songs, they won't sing the song that i wan
i thnk i really did alot of wrong things before God
but God mercy still remains
and if i ever stumble again, i am still caught in His grace
but God jus somehow prove that my thinkings was wrong that the songs won't come out
and a verse in the bible said something like not to rely on your own knowledge cause God's wisdom and plan is much more better than ours
they sang Hossanna too
God really work through miracles ways
He really knows me better than i know myself
i realy thank God for the whole thing
and i know that i cannot stay wounded in my wound or have the thoughts of leaving church
i will try
but does ppl give me the chance?
i decided
i am not going to care what you guys say.
cause its still your mouth
i can't control it
may God be the justice between us

-LOVEDbyHIM